concerned citizens for mosquito reform

Doesn’t it just make your heart sing when dark clouds roll in to rain on your parade?
It never happens to me, personally, I’m just saying…
Sometimes there’s just too much sunshine and happiness in the world and we need a little respite (which is a little like rest-pit, which is a little like pit-stop, which is a little like pot-sticker, which is a little like an eggroll).
I know it seems like I say the same thing every month, but really, pay attention to dates and stuff. I’m traveling for a significant piece of July’s pie so things are getting a little hairy:

Monday, June 28th – Sufi Circle – 9:30 AM – 449 Clover Ln, Ft Collins – Focus on “Mutakabbir” “The Greatest” – by donation

Friday, July 2nd – Chant – 7 PM – 818 Cherry St, Ft Collins – $7 suggested donation

Sunday, July 4th – Happy Birthday to the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, with liberty and fireworks for all! Light things on fire in the honor of liberty, justice and the pursuit of happiness! But do not light yourself or other living creatures on fire, because that does not contribute to happiness.

Monday, July 5th – Sufi Circle – 9:30 AM – 449 Clover Ln – Focus on “Khaliq” – “The Creator” – by donation

Tuesday, July 6th – Mama Sing – 10 AM – Avogadro’s Number (605 S Mason, Ft Collins) – Women and children – by donation

Tuesday, July 6th – Zikr – 7:30 PM – Congregation Har Shalom (725 W Drake, Fort Collins) – $7 suggested donation

Friday, July 9th to Sunday July 11th – Heartbeat Festival – Sunrise Ranch (100 Sunrise Ranch Rd, Loveland) – Starts Friday evening, ends Sunday morning – lots of workshops including drumming, belly dancing, native flute, didgeridoo, chanting with me – plus a Saturday evening Kalliope and Djo performance! – go to this website for more info:

Sunday, July 11th to Saturday, July 17th – Southwest Sufi Camp near Silver City, New Mexico – A whole week of singing, dancing, praying, and communing! I’ll be on staff as well! – go to this website for more info:

Monday, July 12th – Sufi Circle – whenever you want – wherever you want – Focus on “Bari” – “The Maker of Order”

Tuesday, July 13th – Dance of Universal Peace – 7 PM – Sunrise Ranch (100 Sunrise Ranch Rd, Loveland) – $5 suggested donation

Monday, July 19th – Sufi Circle – 9:30 AM – 449 Clover Ln – Focus on “Musawwir” – “The Shaper of Beauty” – by donation

Monday, July 26th – Sufi Circle – 9:30 AM – 449 Clover Ln – Focus on “Ghaffar” – “The Forgiving” – by donation

Tuesday, July 27th – Women’s Dance of Universal Peace – 7 PM – St Barnabas Church (1280 Vine St, Denver) – this dance will be lead by Mary Ellen and Christine. It is sure to be a sweet and lovely evening! – $7 suggested donation

Friday, July 30th – chant – 7 PM – 818 Cherry St. Fort Collins – $7 suggested donation

Monday, August 2nd – Sufi Circle – 9:30 AM – 449 Clover Ln – Focus on “Qahhar” – “The Subduer” – by donation

To RSVP for Lammas, e-mail me, and please do it earlier rather than later, ’cause I’m in a hack and slash mood and will just cancel it if it doesn’t seem like enough people are interested far enough in advance. Also, if you’d like to compare chin scars, send me a photo (nothing still bloody, I did say “scars” not “scabs” or “wounds”).
And, if you truly feel that mosquitoes should be outlawed (but in an environmentally safe way for all the other creatures of the planet), please send monetary donations directly to me as I am funding scientific research projects that are currently working on mosquito catchers (that all other insects are immune to). These new-fangled contraptions are being designed to look like subtle, glowing disco-balls that only emit mauve, taupe and turquoise colors, they will lure the mosquitoes in with a simulated mosquito mama voice that says “darling vampirous children, come on in here, i’ve got fresh, bloody human steak being held exactly at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit! Your favorite!” Once the mosquito hellions are inside the globe, they will be transported via hyper-galactic space traveling good-year blimps (they can carry up to 1.6 gazillionicious mosquitoes at a time!), to an alternate universe where they are trained to subsist as vegetarian peace-mongers before being returned to earth to resume lives of community-service oriented Buddhist monks.
Come on, who wouldn’t support this noble work!
Your humble servant (maybe formerly a mosquito),